freecandycomedy:

FACEBOOK EVENT

Hey Jerks!

It’s the premiere of a FREE brand new weekly comedy show in SoHo. The hook? We give out free candy!

Do you like Snickers? Hershey Bars? Hershey Kisses? M&Ms? Skittles? Rolos?

Well too bad. We can’t afford that kind of candy. All we have are Tootsie Rolls! And…

sexpigeon:

A hat is the clothes that make you a muffin.

sexpigeon:

Techno-jizz across the sky. A bar in Barclay’s Center where an animatronic Billy Joel plays his greatest New York piano tunes, scans the audience and ribs them about aspects of their appearance. “You’re a very lucky man,” he says to a businessman with a young date, “my daughter wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with me.” The audience is delighted that a robot can tell a joke, even a stilted one like that. “My daughter Alexa Ray Joel attempted suicide in 2009,” the robot continues, pulling from Wikipedia. “She had rhinoplasty the following year.”

funnyordie:

Blu-nies with Noah Wyle

Finally, a vapor alternative to brownies.

This is a solid piece of sketch comedy

I feel like Homer when he discovered he was FishBulb. 

top5funniest:

Jerry Seinfeld Stand-Up On Letterman

Hey, this guy’s pretty good at stand up comedy. 

overloadthemachine:

FACEBOOK EVENT

February 16th at 10pm
Tickets are $8, you can purchase them here
The People’s Improv Theater
123 E. 24th St. NY, NY
Between Park and Lexington

OTM Is NYC’s premier character comedy show. Featuring comedians from Comedy Central, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,…

This show was a blast. Performed on Saturday, 2/2 at The Peoples Improv Theater in New York City.

themadfangirl:

kieradoe:

whatsortofamandoesntcarryatrowel:

Dad: Why do you think they do that?
Girl: Because the companies who make these try to trick the girls into buying the pink stuff instead of stuff boys want to buy. [x]

that awkward moment when a child understands the harm of forcing gender roles better than most grown male politicians.

Always reblog.

I’m surprised that I haven’t reblogged this, to be honest.

I love that last gif.  She looks so frustrated.  Like “Um, hello, obviously girls and boys can like anything why doesn’t anybody get that???”

patbaer:

uncannybrettwhite:

patbaer:

think-progress:

They’ve found a way to make a horrible idea even worse.

Outside of Brett White and The Protomen, Tennessee is worthless and can go to hell.

Guuuuuh. UUUuuuugh. This is the worst. Stop making me ashamed, home state.

I am pleased to make Pat’s list though (and I’m pleased that my college acquaintances did as well). To remind me of how non-shitty Tennessee should be, I will add to the Worthwhile Things of TN list:

• Zhubin Parang
• Benjamin Apple
• The Features
• The Great Escape
• Sharon Van Etten
• Third Man Records
• The Batman building
• Culture Cringe podcast
• Janard Cross
• Stan Edward’s Twitter feed
• Brandon Spencer’s Twitter feed
• Ashley Spurgeon’s Twitter feed
• Goo Goo Clusters
• Talk of the Town
• Opryland (RIP)
• The World’s Largest Cedar Bucket
• Loretta Lynn’s Ranch
• Middle Tennessee State University’s recording industry program, for infusing Murfreesboro with a crazy amount of incredibly talented musicians and weirdos who do cool stuff all the time, AKA all of my friends from home who stay in Tennessee to fight crap like this
• MTSU’s TV station, MTTV, which let me do all of this, which got me to New York City

Hey Tennessee lawmakers, STOP MAKING IT HARD TO BE PROUD OF MY HOME STATE. Look at all the AWESOME THINGS IN YOU. 

I did not know about Zhubin and Ben! Those guys are great!

Also, Calhoun’s Steak house and That Aquarium  I went to when Brett invited us to stay with his awesome family at their awesome home and then took us jet skiing on that awesome river  in their backyard  Tennessee needs to just get over their fear of homosexuals and make more Aquariums, steakhouses and jetskiing awesome times.